Torn Between Two Worlds.....

Hello Everybody,
You're finding me at work today.  We are in a slow time of the day and I use this time to catch up or slow down, whatever I'm needing that day.  I am lucky to have our store in a place that has completely untouched land out back, so if I need to reconnect to my inner soul, I can just stroll out there and take a look around.  I can take a break from the fluorescent lights and cash registers.  I can go out there and just breathe.  Looking around, hearing the birds sing and watch them play reminds me who and what I'm connected too. 
I know that I wrote not too long ago that I'm relaxing into my new season in my life.... and..... I have to admit, I'm struggling right now.  I'm trying  to strike a balance, so that I'm living the life I want.  I was moving along quite well until I went out back one evening to grab some lettuce from our little garden. I enjoyed that little moment so much!  There I was, squatting in front of the raised bed, choosing and clipping.  Walking all of maybe 50 feet to get food for our dinner.  It really stuck with me. 
Ever since then I've been brainstorming how I can add just a bit of my "former" life into my new one.  Well, add it in without making myself crazy.  I love canning and preparing a meal.  Especially a meal that primarily came from my back yard.  This week you would find me pouring over my blogs about sustainable living..... Urban homestead.... Homestead Acres....Small Measures.....Cage Free Family..... these folks are just so inspiring.  They give me that feeling like Liz Lemon in 30 Rock.... " I want to go to there"...... tending my garden, baking my bread, putting up food for winter, feeding my family really good whole foods.
I feel like a kid that's watching all the other kids play outside, while I'm stuck inside looking out the window with my nose pressed on the glass. 

I recently read an article from Married with Luggage about how you can live your dream life.  I particularly enjoyed the article about how you have to make time to do steps to get your dream.  I am currently keeping track of what I do with my time for one week as suggested in the article.  I'm hoping I find that I waste too much time on TV or something and can develop a plan to fill this need within me. 
Wish me luck friends! 

Happy Memorial Day!

Every time I watch one of those videos where the soldier gets to come home to family, a child or a pet, I always tear up.  I am just amazed at the sacrifice these brave people are willing give to serve our country.  Thank you so much veterans and people still in service for all that you have done and have given up.  You are forever in our hearts.

Take a moment today in between bites of hot dogs and burgers to remember the reason we celebrate.

Have a great day everybody.

Until next time friends....

Nearly Broken....

Hello All,
 I hope your days have been full of happiness and fun!  Today you find me at work.  I'm here alone today.  Hubby needed a day off.... I insisted that he take the day.  We didn't realize it, but this past week we figured up the hours we keep here at the shop and he works an avg of 60 hrs a week, I work an avg of 55 a week ( I take half a day once a week just for laundry and cleaning at home) .... that would explain why we have been so worn out lately.  We had always heard that the biggest problem with self employed people and ultimate failure in the business, is that people become so focused on the business, working every waking hour that they become burnt out.  Thus, making them less effective.  It definitely has happened to me... you would find me crying outside the store this past week wondering why we aren't as busy as we should be and how are we going to make it financially through the summer.  I felt nearly broken.  It didn't help that my monthly visitor helped exaggerate my emotions and made me feel even more helpless. 

We were doing great and we did pretty well last week, but it seems that after a huge festival we attended that we now have LESS customers... which makes both hubby and I scratch our heads.  We've got to stick it out.... We've got to get through what ever funk we have found ourselves in... We are doing everything we can to advertise and get the word out.... I guess it just takes time. 

Home wise, we are doing ok.  We cleaned up the garden area a couple days ago and I was excited to see that there are carrots and 1 little basil plant, along with the lettuce and spinach that has managed to stay alive.  I'm toying with the idea of putting some peas and dill out.  I know I don't have a lot of time, but I believe these plants may work since they are easy to grow.

We're still working on breaking up with our old bank and getting everything settled with the new bank.  For some reason, Target wouldn't take my check and then my bank card wouldn't work today.  I checked my bank after the Target incident and they said "they've had problems with Target before and it's on their end".... gee... thanks... now my bank card didn't work... another visit to the bank on Monday. 

On the kitty front... I have new tenants in my bushes out front.  The little pregnant calico I had been  feeding moved them there, so I have 5 playful pretty feral little kids in my front garden.  We decided to just let them be... they are too feral to take to the shelter, they would be euthanized right away for being "unadoptable".  There is lots more drama to this story.... I will fill you in next time...

Keep your fingers crossed for us that we get through this funk and find the other side!

Until next time friends....

Giving up and accepting the season....

Hi All, 

Today you're finding me frantically trying to get my house clean.  The schedule I had made for myself is going ok, but honestly, the last thing I want to do is housework when I get home.  Luckily, hubby doesn't get too upset when I need to stay home for awhile to get things back in order. 

I had a bit of a breakdown a couple weeks ago.  I was shopping for groceries and desperately trying to stay within our budget yet feed my family healthy foods.  I don't know what came over me, I've gone over budget before, but this time, I had a really hard time.  There I was bagging my groceries with tears streaming down my cheeks.  I cried the whole way home and thankfully I was ok by the time I got home.  The next morning, I went out to the garden to see what was going on.  I hadn't been out in a couple days since we were so busy and it had been rainy. What I found was so sad. I had lost the couple of bean plants that were showing promise.  My onions are pretty much ka-put.  The only things that are growing is the lettuce and weeds.  I looked around my little garden and felt like such a failure. 
Tears came again.  But, I had to choke them back.  I needed to go to work and tend to our business.

After talking to hubby about my frustration, (through tears, God love him, he always knows exactly what to say)... he helped me realize that I just need to let the garden go this year, or I just need to re-do my "vision" of the garden.  I don't see myself having a lot of time on my hands for years to come, so I think for this year I'll just enjoy that lettuce, garlic and a couple little dismal onions.  I need to redesign my garden to be a perennial garden.  I just don't have the time in this season of my life to do all the things I used to . 

Am I disappointed?  A little.  But do I feel like a failure now?  No.  There is a season for everything.  I can either accept my season that I'm in, or I can drive myself insane trying to do everything.

Where ever you are in your life, accept and enjoy it.  If you don't like what's going on, take steps to change it.  Take it easy on yourself. 

Do you feel like you need to keep up even though your season clearly says you just can't? 

Until next time friends.....

Breaking Up and kitty news......

Hello All....
   It's a beautiful sunny morning.  It's nice to see the sun again after a few days of rain.  Unfortunately, rain equals growing grass.  So, yes, I need to mow again already. The grass is green though, a very pretty green.

 Ok, so here's the latest in my saga...

Garden News.... the best way to describe my garden right now is neglected.  I haven't had time to really go out and work, but lettuce, carrots and beans are holding their own.  Onions and garlic are still hanging in there and still no sign of tomatoes or peppers.  It hasn't been that warm lately, so maybe they know it's too early. 

Breaking Up News..... I was checking our bank account on line and I see a suspicious fee.  A "maintenance fee"  to the tune of $19.95..... what the hell??  So I call the bank, and the sweet lady on the line tells me that she can't discuss account information over the phone.  Ok, I can appreciate that, but really, the last thing I need right now is another errand to run.  "You'll have to come in and speak with one of our customer service associates" she says.  I reluctantly agree and hang up.  Later in the day I go there and I am told that the "maintenance fee" is because we didn't keep a balance of at least $4000 dollars..... well, YEA, since we are running our own business!  But the good news is that the sweet little thing "is going to switch us to the account that only requires $1500 at all times.... well, isn't that great???  That's such a relief!  And you'll only charge me $10 a month if I go under $1500?  Oh aren't you a blessing!    NOT!
We are breaking up with our big name bank and going to a local no fee, no minimum balance bank. No more "poor tax" for us.

I just wanted to add this picture of my little Delilah, she's a feral kitty that is so sweet.  I had her spayed and release.  You can be sure she shows up every day for breakfast and dinner! 

Meet homemaker kim!

Here I am!

Well, Look at me!  I actually figured out how to put a picture on my blog! 

Just a quick post so I could try this out.... I'm actually not going into the store today until after I pick up my son.  I'm heading to a auction and visiting some friends (human and kitties) where I used to work. 

Have a great day everybody!

2 weeks old

Hello everybody!
  
Again, it's been a while since I've posted and again I'm sorry.  Luckily, We've been busy at the store. We are officially 2 weeks old!  Ahhhh, just a baby!   So far it's doing pretty well, especially since we haven't really done any real advertising yet.  People are slowly finding us and even though it's been a little slow lately, we are sure things will pick up soon.  We contacted our local newspaper and they put in the business column that we are open and what we are about... thankfully the cost was Free!   Next week will start a paid advertising in the paper.  We added a coupon to it, so we're looking forward to seeing just how many folks actually use the coupon.  We have a festival coming up in just a couple weeks that we are really looking forward to doing.  We really think things will take off once we do that festival.... lots and lots of people come to this festival. 

On the home making side of things, My house is actually clean!  :)  That's always good news!  I made up that schedule I had talked about and it is working so far.  I'm totally exhausted by the end of the day, but hey, I sleep well!  One thing I do have to change is how I mow the yard.  Usually I just do the front of the house and the sides and do the back another day.  (I don't have the privilege of having a ride on mower, I have an old push mower.... not even a self propelled!)  But lately, I fit mowing in when I can, so I've been doing EVERYTHING in one sweep and end up, well, embarassingly sore.  So, I'm gonna have to stop doing that.  Luckily though, when the summers get hotter, the back yard tends to grow at a much slower rate.... so at least my neighbors won't hate me too much! 

The garden is coming slowly but surely.  I'm sad to say though, that my onions just aren't doing that well this year.  Last year I had so many that I had onions up until February, but this year... I'll be lucky to have a couple months worth.... I moved them to a non raised bed at the top of the yard (we have a slight slope) and after some hard rains the earth was pushed away from them leaving their tiny shoulders exposed, I tried to fix it, but they just haven't been happy since.  I definitely need to keep things in beds here for all the critters and eroding rain. 

Food wise, we are on a strict budget, but I'm shopping as healthy as I can given our budget and doing better.  This past week I've alternated between meat and beans as a protein, and it's going ok, but hubby is still getting used to it ;)  

On the financial front, we are plugging along.  We still haven't sold our car we wanted to sell.  Our neighbor said he would help us with changing the oil and things like that to get it sold, but he has been busy, slowing down the process.  We have not seen the inside of a restaurant for 2 weeks now and that was on the company dime.  We took out some folks for dinner that had done some graphic work for us for the store.  I feel a little out of control when it comes to our financial life right now.  When you have no money going into the account and only money going out, it gets scarey.  When I talk about it to my husband or ask questions, he thinks I'm doubting him, but I'm just being a girl who needs to talk about my fears.  He looked at me just baffled when I told him all he has to do is encourage me when I get like that.  Tell me everything will be fine.  That simple. 

I have felt the need to re-read America's Cheapest Family : Gets you right on the money written by Steve and Annette Economides.  I read this book about a year ago when we were in the home stretch of paying off all our debt and for encouragement and freshen the ideas I'm reading it again.  It's great and if you're a money geek like me, you'd enjoy it. 

Well, guys, thanks for hanging in there with me during my update.  I know I need to take pictures- I really need to take the time to do that.  Let me know what's going on with you. How's your financial life?  Are you a full time working homemaker too? 

Until next time friends!