I can only do so much.

I keep going back and forth about whether or not I want a full out garden or if I just want to do a perennial garden. 

Last year I attempted bleakly at doing a garden.  I never really benefited from it though since I didn't harvest the tomatoes right away they usually ended up bug infested or rotten on the vine.  Each year I make a stand and say this is the year!  This is the year that I really garden and get lots of yummy foods from it! 

Not so.

At my best (when I was a stay at home mom) I got a descent amount of food, but no where near what I want.  The best was having so many cherry tomatoes that we would have "cherry tomato and cheese salad" like, three times a week.  So much that hubby said Oh no not that again! 

This will be my 10th year that I will try to grow something and I just have a feeling that it is not going to go well.  Hubby says that he's going to till up the ground and I can plant and everything will just be nifty! 

Here's what I see in my future:

He will (maybe) eventually till the yard.  We'll be short on funds to really buy everything we need and I will wing it with 0 money or very very little money. 

Time will take over and those plants that I meant to grow will be over taken by weeds.  I'll get frustrated.  I'll get mad at myself for not doing better. 

I'll try again.  Bugs will start taking over.  Plants will die.  Plants will become stressed. 

Did I mention that I'll need to get up at least a half hour earlier to water all these plants?

Part of me is excited for the challenge.  Part of me wants to throw my hands in the air and say I'm OUT! and just be a consumer.  Part of me thinks that it would be cool to just do a perennial vegetable garden.  Part of me says that won't be enough for my pride.  Part of me is dreading canning all the food if I can get it to grow.  Part of me can't wait to see all those filled jars waiting for winter. 

Gaaahhhhh!  I just don't know.  But I do know, I can only do so much. 

I guess time will tell.  I'll keep you posted.....